Sunday, April 12, 2015

This girl...

She makes me happy. She is stronger and better than she even knows. I can't believe she is already fourteen. Sometimes I still just want to cuddle her and snuggle her...but she's not a baby anymore so she won't let me. I'll take a hug though anytime I can get one from her. Happy Birthday Emily Delight. We love you!

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

You should read this article.

No really, you should because it is really good and really inspiring.
I love marriage. I love that it makes me want to be a better person for Trevor and that it does make me a better person.  The relationship I have with Trevor is the most important relationship I have on the earth. I hope that you feel that way about your spouse as well!

Saturday, February 28, 2015

A big day tomorrow.

Joshua is getting baptized tomorrow morning and we are so happy for him! Our last, our baby is becoming responsible and accountable. Its kind of hard for me to let that go. We have family here visiting so that they can be there for him tomorrow. I appreciate so much their willingness to drive all this way to support him. We really do have the best family!

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Fruit and trees and rods

Tonight Joshua read us his favorite scriptures. 1 Nephi 8:10-12. When we asked him why he likes those scriptures (which are about the tree of life) he said because he likes fruit and trees and rods. He gets baptized on February 28th and I really, really hope he is ready. He's excited so theres that. But he's also silly and has a hard time answering a question seriously. Its going to be a very bittersweet day for us!
BIG NEWS: I got a job today. I wasn't looking for one necessarily but a friend of mine works at the school as a secretary and they needed someone to help out from 11-1. So I applied and I didn't embarrass myself too much during the they offered me the job! I'm super excited. Like really excited! My first day is tomorrow so keep your fingers crossed that I do okay!

Monday, February 9, 2015


Emily was blessed with her dads lips. She looks fantastic in lipstick. It's always been a favorite thing of mine to apply the brightest red lipstick we have and make her pucker for the camera.

Sunday, February 8, 2015


When life gets crazy, something has to be neglected. It's better for it to be my blog than say, my kids, or my dog, or my husband. It was a spur of the moment thing that I decided to get on here and type and it feels good. It feels like home. It's been almost 3 months since I've last blogged and I'm just now realizing how much I've missed it.
I've had a lot on my mind lately. It seems like my mind just flits around from thought to thought like feathers in the wind (Forest Gump anyone?). I go from happy thoughts to sad thoughts to deep thoughts and then back to happy thoughts. I think I'm still dealing with emotions from the accident. When I think what could have happened and what actually happened, then I start to get depressed. Especially when I think of what I could have done to Trevor and what I did do to Trevor. It doesn't' make any sense to anyone but me. And I can't even try to explain. I am grateful though to be where we are at now. I'm grateful for my family, my ward, my patient children and husband. I'm grateful for Heavenly Father for sending us angels. I'm grateful for my Savior for sending us peace and comfort through the atonement. I'm grateful for the Holy Ghost for giving us inspiration to help make sense of things.  So when my mind wanders and I'm feeling remorse and sadness and regret, I try to remember the things I'm grateful for because there are innumerable reasons to be grateful.
We are all doing great. Anna and Stephen didn't have any long term injuries. Emily still feels pain in her back and is limited in the things she can do but she has a really good attitude. Joshua goes back to Primarys in a couple of weeks for x-rays and scans. I think it will be his last appointment. He's doing great. I'm fine. I rarely feel pain in my neck just an overall soreness that I'm quite used to by now. I grew a half an inch last year so that's pretty cool. But it was a really expensive half an inch and I wouldn't recommend it. When I think of all the hardware in my neck, it feels surreal so I try not to think about it.
It's been eight months today. Laying in the emergency room then, I remember thinking that they would just make the pain in my hand go away and we would all go home and everything would be back to normal. It wasn't like that as soon as I hoped for but it's like that now.
That's all for now...until next time, which I make no promises as to when next time will be,
Good night!

Sunday, November 9, 2014


Trevor took this picture and we were like "WHAT? Emilys reading!". It doesn't happen often. We've started a new rule for Sundays- no electronics. I'd say she picked a mighty fine thing to be doing instead of being on her phone....

Friday, November 7, 2014

My mind is full...but empty.

Lately it seems my mind flits around from thought to thought and never settles on one. I'm happy, I'm sad, I'm discouraged. I'm weak one minute and strong the next. am I supposed to come up with something to blog about when I can't settle on any one thing? But Trevor likes when I blog because he says it gives him more insight into my brain. So for that reason and because my family likes it, I'm going to try.
And the winning thought goes to......: Date night. Cause it's Friday night and that's generally what we do.
Tonight we are going to go see Intersellar and I'm super excited! We've been seeing the trailer for it for months and have been so anxious to see it (at least I have!). Trevor and I love going to movies it's probably our favorite thing to do together. Last week we celebrated our 15th anniversary and we had an amazing day together. Trevor planned it and we did all the things we've loved to do together for the last 17 years (well, not all the things but a lot of them)...which included going to see a movie. We saw Dracula and I really liked it but Trevor thought it was too dark, like evil dark. It was gory and depressing but still, for some reason I really enjoyed it.
The last 15 years have gone by so fast. Too fast.
So tonight we will go to dinner and then a movie and then come home and relax. Date nights not over until we're sleeping.
This week on Wednesday morning before school two of my kids said, "It's only Wednesday?! It's already been the longest week!" And I totally agreed with them. So that night I told them that if they had their homework done by 6:45, we'd watch a movie and eat chocolate popcorn. And we did and had a really great evening together.
My favorite TV show to watch lately has been House M.D. Every night Trevor and I sit down and watch one or two episodes together. It's relaxing and has totally increased our medical vocabulary. Like when someone is sick I could say "Actually you might have Sarsordosis or maybe a case of Cushings." I generally have no idea what the words mean but it feels smart to say them.
As we were watching an episode one night the character Wilson said something that I immediately wrote down because I kind of related to it: "Being miserable doesn't make you better than everyone else, it just makes you miserable." I'm not sure why I relate to that quote or if I really even want to examine the possible reasons why I relate to it, I just want to repeat it in my mind occasionally just to keep myself in check.
For not having anything to blog about, I sure did write up a long one.
I'm thinking I should start blogging again...more often. Maybe.
This picture was taken on Halloween and was about the most normal one we took.
And this next one was not taken on our anniversary but while we were at a movie which is kind of fitting for this post, right?

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Right now.

Right now Carl and I are laying on my bed resting. He's sleeping and I'm relaxing with my hot, well slightly warm now, rice bag. I've done all the things on my phone I generally do in the morning like look at craigslist,  read, check my email....and now updating my blog. I drank my chocolate milk and got the kids off to school with a warm breakfast in their bellies and their packed lunches. I've listened to the chickens cluck their eggs out and I've put dirty clothes in the hamper and towels in the wash. It's been a busy morning...I think I deserve a quick nap...
(Hi trevor! I know you're reading this at should come home early and take a nap with me ;) just kidding...kind of)

Sunday, September 7, 2014

The A word.

And by the A word I mean accident. I get tired of talking about it, thinking about it and living it. The kids have healed so well. The only problem is Emilys backpack hurting her back from being so heavy. Hopefully we have a solution for that that she'll be ok with. (I have my douts...Vans do not make a backpack with wheels)
There isn't a morning yet where the first thing on my mind is something other than my neck and the same thing goes for the last thing on my mind before I finally fall asleep.
I went to the doctor again this week for xrays and a check up. Trevor came away feeling great about it, I came away slightly discouraged. The surgery part of my neck is healing perfectly. However until an issue I'm having in the vertebra below the surgery sight resolves, I have to keep getting xrays. Granted I don't need them again until December but still it could go on for a long time... I can now lift up to 25 lbs and exercise more which is great. But I have to stay inside all winter unless someone is with me. Apparently a fall on the ice could be horrible. And it's always icy in Rexburg!
We're trying to change my pain meds now too. I'm coming off the narcotic and switching to a muscle relaxer. Yesterday (saturday) I took my new pill for the first time and I slept most of the day. And when I wasn't actually laying down sleeping, I was practically walking around sleeping! We're hoping it was a first time thing. I'm going to try it again today and see if it's any better. It's exactly the reason why we waited until the weekend to try this new pill; so we could see how it affected me. Which brings me to Trevor....It always comes back to him, right? He's so patient with me. This weekend we were going to clean up the yard together and all I did was sleep. He didn't complain once. He just made sure I was comfortable and did what needed to be done without me.  I did get to watch him make a huge bonfire with the pile of scrap wood we had in the backyard and that was pretty cool, although kind of scary.
He's just so good. He doesn't realize how good he is but I do. I'm grateful everyday for him.
Now that school has started, it's pretty quiet around here during the day. I'm handling it much better this year than I did last year. I'm in a better place emotionally now. I feel more secure and more at peace with myself now than I have for quite awhile.
And now I'm tired of myself! Seriously I need to blog about something different once in awhile. But it's 4 in the morning and I had to do something other than lay here and stare at the ceiling. Church is in a few hours and I'm looking forward to it. I love to hear others testimonies and to be uplifted by them. We have such a great ward with such strong people. I'm so happy with where we live...